Goodbyes & New Beginnings
Our beloved baby nurse left us this morning, after a 3 month stay (that started as a 6 week stay, which we kept extending, and extending, and extending). It was really heartbreaking for us to say goodbye to her because the baby just adores her so much, and she makes us laugh, and because this really represents the end of the newborn phase for us. Last night, she was giving the baby a bath, and the baby couldn’t stop smiling and cooing at her, and it was such a sweet scene that my heart broke into a million pieces. I couldn’t watch it any longer so I went downstairs to help my husband prepare a special dinner for her (Ribeyes from Dellapietras, roasted potatoes, and cake from Mia’s Bakery). Then we gave her gifts and toasted what we’ve built here and it just was a very special way to honor someone who has done so much for us.
Our baby is growing up. And now we are her primary caregivers, and we shape the majority of how she eats, how she sleeps, how she interacts with the world. It is a major responsibility, and also the most immense blessing someone could bestow on us. I pray that we do right by this child and by God everyday. I hope we are able to build on the foundations our lovely nurse provided and continue to nourish her and ensure she gets adequate rest, that she is always clean and warm and comfortable. I pray that we give her the space for her character to flourish, because the character she already has is so beautiful. She is a loving and kind and compassionate baby, who loves her family, loves flattery, loves being spoken to, loves music and dancing and kisses and hugs. She is a “very particular baby” as June would say, “and we know who she gets that from,” she would joke, implying me. I admire that she is particular, that she knows how she wants to sit, how to be fed, when to rest. But she is also so open to the world. We took her on a recent flight to Chicago, and she thought the airport was just the coolest place she had ever seen; she was mesmerized at the people, the overhead announcements, all of it. And that look of wonder in her eyes broke my heart right open again, it was so unbelievably sweet. It allowed me to see something I had become so accustomed to through bright new eyes. I reckon she is going to show me a lot more of the world through her eyes. I can’t wait to experience it with her. I try not to think about how much I might miss.
I am hopeful about this new beginning, i know it will bring a lot of transition, that it is representative of the 2nd phase of my leave: training the nanny, training her to sleep, getting ready to leave her. It puts a massive lump in my throat. But first, her dad and I are taking her to Los Angeles for 2 weeks, for a new dose of experiences. Mine and her father’s undivided attention for 2 weeks. Her feet in the sand. Watching the sunset from the park where we got engaged. We are trading cherry blossoms for palm trees, concrete for swimming pools, and we couldn’t be more thrilled about it.
So we are closing a beautiful chapter of newborn bliss in our little cocoon, but emerging out into the world as a threesome. And so far, I’m loving it very much.